Friday, 30 November 2007

Evel Knievel Has Leapt His Last

Evel Knievel has jumped his last, leaped the void, rocketed off this mortal coil!
His death at the age of just 69 was announced today by his grand-daughter.
He had been ill for some time.
I remember growing up with Evel. I watched his stunts on TV and was even the proud owner of the Evel Knievel stunt bike toy!
I'm surprised how sad I am at his passing.
RIP Evel.

Thursday, 29 November 2007

Dog In A Can

A three-month-old puppy had to be rescued after he got his head stuck in a metal watering can.
Ted, a chocolate Labrador, got himself trapped in the can while playing in a back garden on Wednesday afternoon.
Hampshire fire service's specialist animal rescue team was brought in to release Ted.
They had to cut away the watering can using bolt cutters, after initial attempts to free Ted using a hacksaw blade failed.
Anton Phillips, watch manager, said: "... The watering can fitted like a glove around Ted's head and great care had to be taken to keep the pet calm.
"Thankfully we were able to swiftly release Ted's head and he bounded away safely from his ordeal with no ill effects."

Tuesday, 27 November 2007

Bad Sex Awards

The 14th annual Bad Sex Awards took place tonight.
Awarded by Literary Review magazine they aim to
'discourage authors from writing such accounts.'

The award is given to the passage considered to be the most redundant in an otherwise excellent novel.

Among the nominations this year was my particular favourite - Christopher Rush with this passage from his book 'Will' about the life of the young William Shakespeare:

O glorious pubes! The ultimate triangle, whose angles delve to hell but point to paradise. Let me sing the black banner, the blackbird’s wing, the chink, the cleft, the keyhole in the door. The fig, the fanny, the cranny, the quim – I’d come close to it now, this sudden blush, this ancient avenue, the end of all odysseys and epic aim of life, pulling at my prick now, pulling like a lodestone.
Anne Hathaway’s cow-milking fingers, cradling my balls in her almond palm, now took pity on the poor anguished erection, and in the infinite agony of her desire, guided it to the quick of the wound. At the same time I searched wildly with the fingers of my left hand, groping blind as Cyclops, found the pulpy furred wetness, parted the old lips of time and slipped my middle finger into the sancta sanctorum. It welcomed me with soft sucking sounds, syllables older than language, solace lovelier than words. She pulled my hand away, positioned the prick, slid her buttocks deep into the grass, raised her thighs back high, crossed her legs behind my back, dug her heels into my spine and hauled at me savagely and hard. I fell into her.

- Oh my!
The award this year went to Norman Mailor for The Castle In The Forest -
'His mouth lathered with her sap, he turned around and embraced her face with all the passion of his own lips and face, ready at last to grind into her with the Hound, drive it into her piety.'

Monday, 26 November 2007

Wednesday, 21 November 2007

Pinky And The Brain - Tongue Twister

There are some voice artists out there that really have to work for their money!!

Monday, 19 November 2007

Magnificent Weapons Of The Past

I could be talking about the manservant of the King of Spain (Circa 1780) but I'm not.
This magnificent weapon is a Trebuchet.
(Catapult to you and me.)
I've seen one of these in action at Caerphilly Castle. I also know quite a few people who'd like one of these in their back garden...
...sort out the bloody neighbours cats wouldn't it?
Enjoy then this wonderful man - with his wonderful weapon.

Pretend To Be A Time Traveller Day

Ok - so this should have been up yesterday like I promised - but - as much as I hate to burst your bubbles - I am not Superwoman! (Shit - getting too old even to call myself 'supergirl )
Anyhoo - on to the subject in the title -
On the 8th December 2007 it will be -
(sound of drum roll)
Remember 'Talk like a pirate day'?
Well - it's a bit like that - which means that - yes - your workmates and friends will look at you as if you're insane!
But that's half the fun!!

On this day - you MUST spend the entire day in costume. And in character.

There are three possible options.

OPTION 1 - UTOPIAN FUTURE - Think Star Trek TNG or Twelve Monkeys. If you've ever seen the way 'Futurama' sees the 21st Century - then that's it!
Your job is to dress in rather anarchic clothing and speak in slang from a multitude of eras.
A few examples - Greet people by referring to things that don't yet exist or haven't existed for a long time. Example: "Have you penetrated the atmosphere lately?" "What spectrum will today's broadcast be in?" and "Your king must be a kindly soul!" - Show extreme ignorance in operating regular technology. Pay phones should be a complete mystery (try placing the receiver in odd places). Chuckle knowingly at cell phones.
OPTION 2 - DYSTOPIAN FUTURE - More flexible than the last. It can be any kind of future from Terminator to Blade Runner to Freejack to Mad Max.
The important thing to remember is dress like a crazy person with armor. Black spray painted football pads, high tech visors, torn up trenchcoats and maybe even some dirt here or there. Remember, dystopian future travelers are very startled that they've gone back in time. Some starters: - If you go the "prisoner who's escaped the future" try shaving your head and putting a barcode on the back of your neck. Then stagger around and stare at the sky, as if you've never seen it before. - Walk up to random people and say "WHAT YEAR IS THIS?" and when they tell you, get quiet and then say "Then there's still time!" and run off. - Stand in front of a statue (any statue, really), fall to your knees, and yell "NOOOOOOOOO" - Stare at newspaper headlines and look astonished. - Take some trinket with you (it can be anything really), hand it to some stranger, along with a phone number and say "In thirty years dial this number. You'll know what to do after that." Then slip away.
OPTION 3 - THE PAST - This one is more for beginners. Basically dress in period clothing (preferably Victorian era) and stagger around amazed at everything. Since the culture's set in place already, you have more of a template to work off of. Some pointers: - Aeroplanes are terrifying. Also, carry on conversations with televisions for a while. - Discover and become obsessed with one trivial aspect of technology, like automatic shop doors. Stay there for hours playing with it. - Be generally terrified of people who are dressed immodestly compared to your era. Tattoos and piecings on women are particularly scary
God - that's a lot of writing
Tired now
So - over the next three weeks I'm going to have a theme - for the three weeks until December 8th i'm gonna do
Past - Present - Future
Starting with
So for the next week I'll be posting stuff relevant to the past (amongst other usual shit)
Feel free to send me any ideas for posts that you have.

Sunday, 18 November 2007

A Little Nonsense Now And Zen

When Bankei was preaching at Ryumon temple, a Shinshu priest, who believed in salvation through the repitition of the name of the Buddha of Love, was jealous of his large audience and wanted to debate with him.
Bankei was in the midst of a talk when the priest appeared, but the fellow made such a disturbance that bankei stopped his discourse and asked about the noise.
"The founder of our sect," boasted the priest, "had such miraculous powers that he held a brush in his hand on one bank of the river, his attendant held up a paper on the other bank, and the teacher wrote the holy name of Amida through the air. Can you do such a wonderful thing?"
Bankei replied lightly: "Perhaps your fox can perform that trick, but that is not the manner of Zen. My miracle is that when I feel hungry I eat, and when I feel thirsty I drink."

Saturday, 17 November 2007

Japanese Dancing Girl

I thought I'd put this up on here seeings as when I put it up on Liveleak it had over 195,000 views and still

Friday, 16 November 2007

My Christmas List

Gotta get me one of these - my little wookie backpack.
He's even got his own little pocket to keep his own little bits in!

$40 from Thinkgeek

Friday Night Top Of The Pops

I know this hasn't been around for a few weeks but I get sidetracked when I'm looking through the songs and just end up with no time to post...sorry..
Back this week though with another three classics:
James Blunt - You're Beautiful
Kula Shaker - Tattva
The Stranglers - Strangle Little Girl
Enjoy your Friday night!


Thursday, 15 November 2007

ONE - Wonderful Muppet!!

The Count - Remix

For The Geek In All Of Us

Thanks to Sariel for this gemstone of geekiness.
Pong - Tetris - Mortal Kombat - Pokemon - Zelda - Mario -

Monday, 12 November 2007

Great Reactions To The '2Girls 1Cup' Video

You can look up the original video at your own risk.
If you're unfortunate enough to find it - don't blame me! - Watch more free videos

Sunday, 11 November 2007

24 - The Never Aired 1994 Pilot Episode

This is way more than just funny.
Especially for those who remember the good old days of 'dail-up'
24 Pilot Episode

Saturday, 10 November 2007

For Those Lost

Anthem For Doomed Youth

What passing bells for those who die as cattle?
Only the monstrous anger of the guns.
Only the stuttering rifles' rapid rattle
Can patter out their hasty orisons.
No mockeries for them; no prayers nor bells,
Nor any voice of mourning save the choirs, -
The shrill, demented choirs of wailing shells;
And bugles calling for them from sad shires.

What candles may be held to speed them all?
Not in the hand of boys but in their eyes
Shall shine the holy glimmers of goodbyes.
The pallor of girls' brows shall be their pall;
Their flowers the tenderness of patient minds,
And each slow dusk a drawing-down of blinds.

Wilfred Owen (1893-1918)

Thursday, 8 November 2007

Wednesday, 7 November 2007

Sunday, 4 November 2007

The Shephard-Risset Glissando

An aural illusion .
It sounds like a descending tone but it never gets any deeper.

Beavis and Butthead - Vaya Con Cornholio

My Christmas List

There's gonna be a few entries with this title in the next few weeks - so keep your eyes open - and - if you feel the urge, you can always buy me
This little number is a fully functioning USB vacuum cleaner.
Should sort the small landfill of cookie crumbs, crisps and sherbert that piles up beside my computer.
(Comes complete with invisible fairy who may, or may not, clean your desk while you sleep.)


Vintage BDSM Movie

UPDATE: The old link had stopped working so I've replaced it with a little vintage film of Virginia Bell.

Saturday, 3 November 2007

20,000lbs Of Sodium In A Lake

I can't get the embedding to work for this fascinating piece of film.
It features the 1947 disposal of 20,000lbs of metallic sodium into Lake Lenore in Washington State.

Raw Core